I may skip Christmas this year

I normally try to outdo myself year after year hoping to please the people I share the day with and find so much joy from their smiles. This year, I just don't feel it. The thought of decorating and getting caught up in it seems, ......... well, pointless. I've never in my life felt like this before! Never! I always love Christmas. I only have a few days left to make up my mind because it is either a go or a no go due to all that it takes to prepare. I don't do anything half way and wouldn't enjoy doing a little any more than I would doing nothing. I can't figure out what is wrong with me. Is it depression? Am I just over the traditions?

I was looking at a picture that I posted on here last night of my tree from last year. It was nice. But nothing urged me inside to do it again other than thinking about how once a year I get to reminiss and think of all the great times I had when so many of the things I drag out get attention and bring recollection.

I know after this coming weekend my deadline to "Do Christmas" will pass. I feel the pressure to decide but no inspiration to decide to do it. If even one person around me was up for it maybe I would feel differently. But at this point it feels like another empty Hallmark holiday.

I don't need December 25th to think about the reason for the season. I think about that every day.

When it comes to holiday cheer this year, I'm empty inside ... what gives?

And then I think, what if it is my last Christmas? Or someone I love's last Christmas, will I regret not giving it time and love?

I don't know ... or what to do... Will I "feel it" once I start if I decide to do it anyway without a lot of inspiration or resent it for the time and effort taken? Ah geez, I would have never thought this would be an issue I would face!

I want my Merry Christmas back! But I don't know where to find it. And if I don't find it, I hope I don't regret it.

Has anyone else ever gone through this before?