* Obama’s Stupendous, Spectacular, Sequestration Tour, Ch 1. [satire]

Obama’s Frugal Vacation

Ch. 1 of 4, Obama Has an Original Thought

The citizens were getting restless and filled with apprehension.

Like a dark cloud of plague-carrying locusts, the sequestration fell onto the land and soon the nation would endure horrific calamities; all because those pesky Republicans wouldn’t capitulate and give Obama what he wanted – a blank check.

The president warned that the air traffic control system would fail and airplanes would fall from the sky, millions of breadwinners would lose their jobs, military and defense cuts would make us vulnerable to our enemies, and crops would wilt in the field.

He said that the consequences would be catastrophic and the public was now waiting for that economic Armageddon. He was, after all, Honest Ob, and Honest Ob would not lie.

Most economists now believed that he had over-dramatized the effect of sequestration and had intentionally painted a picture of hopelessness so that the public would rise up and batter the Republicans into submission. If his dire predictions came true, the results would allow Obama to get what he wanted all along – to continue his rampant spending unabated, without interference from Congress or the people.

But this time he made a mistake, he oversold the premise and put himself on the spot (something the feckless Republican RINOs had been unable to do) and he was left with a dilemma.

What if our economic world didn’t crash? What if things weren’t as bad as he had predicted? What were his options? He couldn’t admit defeat and agree to spending cuts. That would be admitting that he was wrong (and he was never wrong). He won dammit, and he was the president; he would not be intimidated into compromise.

Read more at:

To be continued in Chapter Two:

Obama’s march through Georgia

Ch. 2 of 4, Obama’s march through Georgia

NOTE: This is the 2nd chapter of Obama’s frugal vacation. If you missed the first part, you can access it HERE – it lays the groundwork for this part and should be read first.

~~~

The plan was to get up about seven to get an early start. They’d hook up and head out, meeting at eight o’clock for breakfast at a restaurant on I-95.

During his prep work for the trip, Jacque Strapp had been assured by the restaurant’s owner that although they typically did serve grits (common in the south), grits would not be included on any plate served to the president. Ever since the Flo’s Diner incident, the president decreed that grits should be classified as “assault grits” and therefore banned under the recently enacted AGB (Assault Grits Ban).

The caravan got to the Beggs ‘N Aacon a little late and forty travelers took over most of the large dining room. The owner, Pete Zaparla, helped the restaurant’s wait staff distribute menus and take orders. As a group, the travelers were happy and festive, none the worse for the fart-gas onslaught of the night before.

After everyone had finished, Obama stood up to deliver a morning pep talk to the group, but he was distressed to find no teleprompter. “Where is Oz?” Oz was his pet name for his alter ego, his crutch, TOTUS (Teleprompter of the United States).

Read More at: http://hardnoxandfriends....

To be continued in Chapter Three:

“I’m Going to Disney World”

Obama’s Frugal Vacation

Ch. 3 of 4, I’m going to Disney World

NOTE: This is the 3rd chapter of Obama’s frugal vacation. If you missed the first part, you can access it HERE – the second chapter is available HERE. Ideally, they should be read in sequence. Also note that originally, this was to be a three-part story. Chapter 3 got so long, I decided to end it and continue the story in a newly added (and final) Chapter Four.

~~~

As before, the plan was to get up about seven to get on the road early. They’d hook up and head out, stopping just south of Savannah at a truck stop to fuel up and eat a quick breakfast.

“Get your gas two ways: food and fuel” was the advertising slogan for the On the Run truck stop. It was a favorite stop for truckers traveling I-95 who liked the breakfast burritos and good prices for diesel. Reason enough for it to have been chosen as a morning stop by the caravan’s trip coordinator, Jacque Strapp.

The group split up into groups, some refueling while others ate a quick breakfast. As they finished, they swapped places.

But Murphy’s Law reared its head and Jacque’s wife who wasn’t due to deliver for another three weeks went into labor and he had to catch a quick commuter flight back to DC. He left his taxpayer-funded AMEX credit card with the Agent in Charge, Phil Landerer. The plan was to put all charges on Strapp’s card.

Read more at: http://hardnoxandfriends....

Tune in again for the next chapter in the ongoing saga of: The Obama Family’s Stupendous, Spectacular, Sequestration Tour.

Chapter FOUR asks the burning question: Who was behind the attack on Michelle’s derriere which made her the butt of Secret Service jokes?

Obama’s Frugal Vacation

Ch. 4, Who was behind the attack on Michelle’s derriere which made her the butt of Secret Service jokes?

NOTE: This is the 4th chapter of Obama’s frugal vacation. If you missed the first part, you can access it HERE – the second chapter is available HERE and the third chapter is available HERE. Ideally, they should be read in sequence. Be aware that they should also be considered “PG” rated for some adult language and situations.

It should also be noted that in writing this satire, I am following Rule Four created by one of Barack Obama’s mentors, Saul Alinsky (said to be the father of community organizing), who wrote in his book “Rules for Radicals” that “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.” I will do my best to honor his memory by ridiculing Barack Obama at every opportunity.

Luckily, the park director was able to get the catering firm to return to the park right away so the crew did finally get some lunch.

They also sent GPS coordinates to the doctor and he was on his way. Maybe things were looking up for our fearless travelers…

Benny Factor, DBM

It turns out that Doctor Benny Factor was not a real MD after all. He calls himself a doctor, but he’s only a doctor in the loosest form of the word, a “Doctor of Buttockal Manipulation” (DBM). He wears that proud title since he graduated from Bob’s Booty Academy in Hoboken.

Five days of intensive study of the female posterior (one day was devoted to super glue), and a ten question (true/false) examination resulted in a DBM diplomer (Bob couldn’t spell diploma) being granted to Dr. Factor. Now he could fondle all the butts he could get his hands on, reassuring his patients by telling them, “It’s ok, I’m a doctor.”

He’d seen pictures of the First Lady’s meter-wide bottom and Dr. Benny wasn’t really enthusiastic about getting up close to Moochelle’s bum, but it was....

Read more at: http://hardnoxandfriends....

The End