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“NEWS ANALYSIS”


R. A. Schultz


 


Ya know what toasts my buns?  Ya know what makes me so damn mad I could rip the quills out of a live porcupine?  It’s these damned condescending television news readers who read what they think is news and then proceed to “analyze” it.  The wizards of smart can’t simply state the facts without trying to tell ya how and what to think about them!


 


The “analysis” is often conducted by a “panel” of from two to six boobs who are each asked what they think of the news that’s just been read, what they think is going to happen next or in the next six months, and why Donald Trump is a xenophobic racist Nazi.


 


Most of these “panelists” are survivors from the same flooded sewer that produced so much incorrect “analysis” during the 2016 election cycle, but a few, very few, truly stand out, mostly for how wrong they were in the past, as well as how wrong they continue to be.  All of the “news” channels are guilty, but I’ll only hit the one that claims to be “fair and balanced.”


 


Karl Rove ~ how this clown remains on the Fox News payroll after more than 24 months of being consistently pathetically wrong is simply beyond me.  Also, every time I see this guy, I’m reminded of a manatee.  Is there a limit to the size they can make a shirt?


 


Chris Stirewalt ~ or Rove Lite, Karl’s apparent twin or younger sibling, valuable only because he apparently knows even less than Karl.  Another manatee.


 


Juan Williams ~ an avowed leftist as consistently wrong about everything as Rove and Stirewalt combined.  Known for his irritating smugness.


 


Charles Krauthammer ~ is still waiting, nine months into the administration, for the Trump campaign to implode.


 


Patrick Caddell ~ a relatively mild and surprisingly knowledgeable leftist, Caddell, though always wrong, makes for acceptable listening.


 


More often than not, the “analysis” offered by these panelists consists merely of their own partisan opinion, backed by little more than their own misinterpretations of sketchy, erroneous, or completely false information which has entered the political discourse by some back door or the other.  Their prognostications of future events are nothing more than a combination of supposition, conjecture, and wishful thinking.


 


Just who the hell cares anyway what they think about anything?  Just tell me straight what happened and let me form my own opinions about what it means to me and what the eventual outcome of any situation might be.  I don’t need some manatee impersonator to tell me what might happen as a result of the latest news reading or what I should think about it!


 


“Well, ya know, ya don’t have to watch it if ya don’t like it,” some might say.


 


My response: “Flash!  I don’t!”


 


 


  

Linda Mihalic
Your life and time are more important than listening to those idiots.
  • October 17, 2017
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